Stop imagining!

Saw this ad in an in-flight magazine. This shoe company’s logo is a sperm! They even point the logo out in the ad, referring to it as their ‘slick seed of life logo – because it’s cool!’ It’s not cool. Why in the hell would you want sperm on your feet? There’s only one good reason to have sperm on your feet, and unless you are currently incarcerated you will not want to experience this and it is anything but cool.

What exactly am I supposed to stop imagining? A life without sperm on my shoes? Because clearly those days are over. These shoes cost $130. Seeing this makes me wonder if this company actually conducted market research and came to the conclusion that there is a large demand for sperm-related footwear. How did these shoes test in focus groups? Clearly there were people that saw and encouraged this, stating that they were, in fact, moved and inspired by the bold design choice to heavily feature a sperm on the side of an athletic shoe. Something that, historically, has very little to do with sperm.

My guess is that none of these things happened. I think this company hired a wacky, new age designer who most likely has an entire portfolio bursting with sperm-related designs. Sperm on hats, sperm on t-shirts, sperm on coffee mugs. The sky is the limit really. Why not offer a free sperm toe ring with your purchase of a pair of sperm-shoes? Then, you can have a relatively large surface area of your foot covered by sperm at any given time. How ‘cool’ would that be?