Haiku of the Day catch-up

Ear Cheese

Don’t forget to wash
Up behind them big ol’ ears
Don’t want that ear cheese

——

Annoying Dude

Dude’s such an ass-hat
How did he survive this long?
A white Steve Urkel

My Favorite Charlie Sheen Quotes

Like you, I am currently caught up in America’s latest celebrity obsession, Charlie Sheen, and his bizarre life. I think his recent TV and radio appearances have been nothing short of epic! Here, in no particular order, are my favorite Charlie Sheen quotes. Feel free to share any I missed in the comments. Winning!

• Put down your sword and join the winners.
• I will love you violently with the fire of 1,000 suns.
• It’s all passion… you borrow my brain for 5 seconds and just be like, “Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard.” Because it just fires in a way that is… maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm.
• I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there. Now what? (when asked if he is bi-polar)
• I blinked and cured my brain.
• ‘Can’t’ is the cancer of ‘happen’.
• I am on a drug. It’s called ‘Charlie Sheen’. It’s not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.
• Stay off the crack. Drink chocolate milk.

Here’s the awesome interview Howard Stern did with Charlie on 3/1.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3