For the Trolls: A Charlie Sheen sketch

Now that ‘Sheen-mania’ is finally dying down, here’s a sketch for us to remember the ol’ warlock by. This was a quick one, hope you enjoy!

Totally Epic (An Ode to Charlie Sheen)

Charlie Sheen is a man who doesn’t understand
Why the rest of the world can’t just be like him
If you knew what he knows you would probably lose control
But not before sniffing some coke up your nose

Totally epic, totally epic win

Charlie Sheen is a guy who has an awesome life
He divorced all his wives so he can date porn stars
You know what to do when he’s in your hotel room
Grab the check and lock the door to the bathroom

My Favorite Charlie Sheen Quotes

Like you, I am currently caught up in America’s latest celebrity obsession, Charlie Sheen, and his bizarre life. I think his recent TV and radio appearances have been nothing short of epic! Here, in no particular order, are my favorite Charlie Sheen quotes. Feel free to share any I missed in the comments. Winning!

• Put down your sword and join the winners.
• I will love you violently with the fire of 1,000 suns.
• It’s all passion… you borrow my brain for 5 seconds and just be like, “Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard.” Because it just fires in a way that is… maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm.
• I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there. Now what? (when asked if he is bi-polar)
• I blinked and cured my brain.
• ‘Can’t’ is the cancer of ‘happen’.
• I am on a drug. It’s called ‘Charlie Sheen’. It’s not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.
• Stay off the crack. Drink chocolate milk.

Here’s the awesome interview Howard Stern did with Charlie on 3/1.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3